Lalalalalala...I caaaaan't hear yooooo!

Today I had to, again, separate my daughter and her "friend" from each other. At 15, they are not boyfriend/girlfriend, but the amount of physical touching has recently escalated from innocent sitting close to each other or jabbing/tickling each other to... a whole other thing. Though I've asked them before, jokingly and lightly, to ease up, today was.... disturbing. My husband needed a valium! After Kitty-boy (don't ask) left, I took her aside and we had the following conversation:

Me: If I have one or two puffs off a cigarette once or twice a week, can I say I am a NON-smoker?

Chick: NO! *laughing* geez, are you smoking now? (she's a smartass like that)

Me: No! Listen, if I have a few big gulps of a drink a couple times a week can I say I'm technically NOT a drinker?

Chick: NO! Like, a drink is a drink! (rolling of eyes and said with a *duh)

Me: Well, if you and Kitty-boy are ONLY holding hands or wrapping your arms around each other and laying all over each other, can I say that you ARE sexually active?

Chick: WHAT?! GOD! Mom! NOOOOO! (horrified! eyes wide, mouth agape...)

Me: ok, wait, now listen... no, seriously! Look...

and I went on to discuss that their physical contact was A) disturbing to watch and B) it blurred the line between sex and non sex and C) it blurred the line between friends and 'more than friends' and also we talked about the difficulties for boys and hormones and self control and that it may be misleading to Kitty-boy and yadda yadda yadda.

I hope I hit all the important points. I realized though that I can't get by with just teaching about sex, about the mechanics of it, and about morals, but that I have to teach the mechanics of friendships and relationships. I have to teach the difference between boys and girls and I'm not talking about p*nis and v*g*na... but about hormones and drawing lines and crossing lines and love and hope and hurt and desire... and I have to know she will make mistakes, and she will draw lines and erase lines and cross lines and love and hurt and all I can do is turn on a few lights along her path and wait nearby with a hug.

Boy, this parenting stuff is hard.

Ooof, I need a drink (not that I'm a 'drinker'...)