Russian jokes translated to English

Pooh and Piglet are on the way to get some honey carrying the balloon and the gun. Here's the plan: Winnie flies to the bees' hollow on the balloon and takes some honey, then Piglet shoots the balloon and Winnie comes back to the earth. Suddenly Winnie stumbles over a tree root and accidentally shoots Piglet right in the mouth. Teeth are out and cheeks are torn.
- What are you laughing at, stupid pig? I'm almost deaf now!

The next one isn't really mine. I saw the translation long time ago. I was really amused and the punch line carved into my mind. I couldn't find the original translation so this is my reconstruction of it.

There are Winnie the Pooh and Piglet in the boat. Winnie is rowing and Piglet is sleeping.
Winnie is tired.
Piglet is sleeping.
Winnie becomes angry.
Piglet is sleeping.
Finally, Winnie can't stand slapping Piglet with the oar.
- Uh! Ah! What? - torn out of his dreams Piglet is disoriented.
- What's the matter, pig? Can't sleep? Do some rowing then!

After some discussion we've figured out that the best punch line for worm joke would be "He's gone fishing"
Thanks to markusn

Small worm asks his mother:
- Mom, where is dad?
- He's fishing with the guys.

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TO BE 6 AGAIN

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, Observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off, he asked What she'd like to have for her Birthday.

I'd like to be six again, she replied, still Looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, Made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags Theme park. What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster... Everything there was. Five hours Later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he Ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure ! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well Dear, what was it like being six again ??

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression Suddenly changed.

I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.